The Ambassador
Russ Lane just celebrated his 60th birthday. As part of his surprise party, we were asked to share photos and memories. Going through the many photos I collected over our 40 years of friendship, the memory of Russ that lingered was when we first met at college. I can’t think of a better story that best embodies the essence of Russ Lane—a forever ambassador to those around him.
I have known the Lanes for nearly 40 years, and it all began with Russ.
I met Russ Lane on the Westmar campus in the summer of 1985. Russ was a returning college student, and I was an incoming freshman.
Westmar was not my first college choice.
Before classes started, I reluctantly attended freshman orientation nine miles from my small Iowa hometown. Instead of feeling excited, I longed to go far away to a large campus, different from the small-town living I knew.
Russ was one of the student ambassadors assigned to welcome the freshmen. The ambassadors included many football players, which was a logical choice as they arrived on campus early for pre-season practice. I was one of the freshmen staying overnight for orientation, weeks before the campus would open to returning students.
I showed up wearing a pink beret and denim Guess mini-skirt, wanting to look like the city girl I was not. Russ later told me that my beret created the attention I desired. Several of his friends asked about the new foreign student. They hadn’t a clue that I lived a mere ten minutes away.
After a series of icebreakers, the freshmen were served a picnic meal. My feelings for Westmar thawed a bit after meeting a new friend in the hamburger line.
Julie had a short, chic haircut and wore oversized clothes on her petite frame. After she complimented my beret, we stuck together for the rest of orientation. Ultimately, we would become roommates and lifelong friends.
Exploring campus, Julie and I joined the crowd of students congregating in the women’s dorm where we were assigned to stay. Russ was there with his friend, Tim, another football player. Tim was funny and loud. He entertained the students, playing up to his nickname ‘Batman’ while leaving everyone laughing.
As Russ watched Tim with an approving grin, he was the first to greet Julie and me. He continued introducing us, one by one, to the other football players and students. Finding spots on the weathered dorm communal furniture, Russ sold the benefits of being part of this small college community. He made me feel welcome rather than the stranger I wanted to be.
Whether he sensed my hesitancy toward Westmar or was just in his natural ambassador mode, Russ quickly drew me into the perks of attending a small college. He and Tim told us with anticipation about their upcoming football season. Russ painted a picture of the excitement of campus living, giving tips on food choices and prime college activities. No longer newbies, we were all in for the college experience that awaited us.
Julie and I found another commonality at orientation: our September birthdays. We both missed the age deadline to drink legally. The state of Iowa had just raised the drinking age from 18 to 21. Those not turning 18 by 9/1/85 had to wait three additional years to enjoy the college bar scene. For Julie and me, this meant being minors until our senior year.
As we lamented to Russ about our bad luck with late birthdates, he enthusiastically shared that his girlfriend, Robbie, also missed the deadline. Although she couldn’t make it to orientation, Robbie would be part of our freshman class—we were sure to be friends.
I went home from orientation excited to return. Counting down the days until college life began, I was anxious to reconnect with my new friends.
Julie and I searched for Russ on our first day of classes, finding him in the campus commons. By his side was Robbie. As Russ envisioned, we became fast friends. Ultimately, our gang of three were the only freshmen left as minors, but it didn’t stop us from going to the bars before we were officially allowed.
From the day I stepped on campus to the day I graduated, I loved my college experience. Russ provided the runway that transitioned my impressions from doubt to enthusiasm.
Although Robbie was not yet old enough to drink, she and Russ married the following spring. Entering military life, Russ and Robbie raised two babies in Germany while I finished college in Iowa. Through our friendship, I met another Lane, Russ’ brother, Scott, whom I later married. Russ was my brother-in-law for twenty years of our forty-year friendship.
My years as part of the Lane family include many shared experiences with Russ and Robbie—vacations, holidays, family celebrations, births, many losses, more joys, and always laughter. As couples, we did most things together, taking up the same hobbies and having many mutual friends. Our kids didn’t know a world where our families weren’t involved in each other's daily lives.
Keeping his composure in any tense situation, Russ always took charge in the Lane family, working to get the best outcome for the family. Being a level-headed diplomat in a large family is not easy, but he always persevered and stood up for what was right.
Russ was often teased about running for mayor. He seemed to know everyone wherever we went, shaking hands and kissing babies. He was the person best equipped to deal with people sensitively and effectively. Russ has always been our appointed lead through all life's controversies and celebrations.
And then my life controversy happened. Scott and I divorced. I reverted to the sole role of a friend and the new role of a former family member. It was an odd transition, but Russ took charge. Regardless of the sides taken and the ensuing divorce drama, he took the high road and became ambassador to my family. He was the first to take his nephews, my young sons, aside and reassure them in his calm but convincing demeanor.
“You always need to remember that you are still a family, just a new kind of family. Your mom and dad love you. It will be hard for a while, but everything will be okay.”
The boys looked up to him, nodding their heads. His advice ultimately rang true.
Just as he had done when I was seventeen, he welcomed me into a new life era when I was unsure how I fit in. Together, Russ and Robbie expertly guided me in this new territory. When Garrett entered my life, they never hesitated welcoming him with open arms.
Always a diplomat and forever a friend throughout our collective life journeys, Russ has been a gifted ambassador. I am grateful for our forty years of friendship and family.
