Detour to Denver

`Thanksgiving 11/26/2009 - Garrett, Dad, Mom`

“I think he’s in the shower.”

I tried peaking in the front door window of Garrett’s home with my parents standing on either side of me. After ringing the doorbell twice, the only response was two barking dogs.

Soon, we heard the hurried sound of feet shuffling down the stairs. With wet hair, clad in a t-shirt with a towel wrapped around his waist, Garrett greeted us as he pushed away a cleaning bucket with his bare foot.

This was how Garrett met my parents.

We soon saw the dogs behind the barks: Garrett’s 140-pound Great Dane, Ajax, with Cookie, a little Shih Tzu, attentively at his side.

My family never had dogs growing up. With a towering Ajax next to his towel-clad owner, I tried to decipher my parents’ assessment of my new friend from Denver.

The year was 2009, and I was still within a year of estrangement from my ex-husband. My parents had spent much of that year staying with me in Omaha as I became acclimated to single parenting. As was often our routine, I flew toward their home in Arizona for us to drive back to Omaha together. We would time these road trips when the boys were with their dad. The long drives together allowed my parents their own car while staying with me in Omaha while also keeping me occupied on my ‘off days’ with my boys.

The boys were celebrating Thanksgiving with their dad that year. I planned to fly to Albuquerque. Mom and Dad would pick me up from the airport on Thanksgiving Day. We would then drive back to Omaha for them to stay into the new year.

Our plan was set.

Until it wasn’t.

I met Garrett the month before at a conference in Denver. Although our courtship was brief and only included two physical dates, we talked and texted daily, feeling like our relationship had been going on for a lifetime. With 550 miles between us, our conversations often included banter about sporting teams from our home states. With an upcoming University of Nebraska vs. University of Colorado game, I scored some last-minute game tickets for Garrett. The only problem was physically getting the tickets to him before the day-after Thanksgiving kick-off in Boulder, CO.

“Why don’t you drop them off on your drive back to Nebraska with your parents.”

Wanting to see Garrett again, and with a Denver stop only slightly out of the way from our typical route east of Colorado, I decided to pitch the re-routing idea to my parents. Newly divorced, with the paperwork not officially inked, sharing that I had been dating a guy who lived in Colorado was not high on my list. But with my desire to see Garrett outweighing my fear of sharing this desire, I found the courage to ask the question.

Couching it as a favor to a friend in Denver, I asked Dad if they minded changing our route to go through Denver so I could deliver the football tickets. Pitching my suggestion as a win-win, I explained how we would break up the long drive by staying with my Denver friend.

Without hesitation, my dad agreed.

“Sandy, you are in charge of the map. If you want to go through Denver to stay with your friend, we will go through Denver. Mom and I are just along for the ride.”

As we waited at Garrett’s front door, my nerves began to kick in. Where was he? And, oh, the dogs…my parents weren’t dog people, let alone Great Dane kind of dog people.

My second-guessing melted away as Garrett warmly greeted us. With the house smelling of lemon cleaning solution and the dogs obediently standing behind him, Garrett’s smile welcomed us as his well-anticipated guests. Our feeling of strangers from the outside disappeared as we walked in the door.

Showing us into his living room, the aroma of a roasting turkey filled our hungry senses. Garrett explained that he had cooked a traditional Thanksgiving meal, knowing we would be road-weary from our trip.

After some small talk, Garrett set the small kitchen table with well-used placemats and his family china. He and Mom immediately found commonality in discussing the family history behind the place settings in front of us. Mom was familiar with the china pattern, which once belonged to Garrett’s grandparents.

The recent departure of Garrett’s ex-wife was evidenced by missing furniture. The remaining carpet imprints gave evidence of that space's previous occupants, including an empty dining room. But the little kitchen table remained, along with Garrett’s family china and the weathered placemats. We felt comfortable around the small remaining table, enjoying the coziness of food and conversation provided by an enthusiastic Garrett.

Finishing a store-bought pumpkin pie, we later relaxed in the living room. Garrett was handed his promised football tickets as Ajax stood face-to-face with my parents seated on the couch. They became comfortable sharing their space as my parents quickly concluded that Ajax was a gentle giant, as kind as his owner.

The memory of this story cycled through my mind before I memorialized it in a written story. With fourteen years behind us from this shared Thanksgiving in Denver, I asked Mom today for her recollection. Although she and I remember the same general fact pattern, she cried in laughter as she told me some memory nuggets that were new to me.

First, my secret of having a new love interest was no secret. Mom was on to me long before that first Thanksgiving meeting. Mom, Dad, and I spent Halloween together at my brother’s home. I was constantly texting and disappearing to take phone calls. Mom said I snuck around like a high school girl in love. She knew a man was holding my attention, or at least the attention of my phone.

The other revelation was that while Garrett and I cleaned up the kitchen after our Thanksgiving feast, my parents were given a show while relaxing in the living room. The microwave on the far kitchen wall reflected the goings-on within the kitchen. While Garrett and I were sneaking kisses and playfully embracing over the dishes, we openly displayed our every move to my parents in the next room.

At the time, I thought my parents were sharing an inside joke as Garrett and I joined them in the living room following clean-up. Fourteen years later, the cat is now out of the proverbial bag. Their laughing in the living room continued as Garrett gave them a tour of the basement where they would sleep. A commonality of family humor began as Dad teased Garrett about wanting to play the basement gaming station. This classic inside joke of Dad playing his Wii in the basement has also stuck around these fourteen years.

The last laugh from Mom today was when she shared that she didn’t think Garrett and I got much sleep that Thanksgiving night. Observing our body language the next morning, she and Dad exchanged glances indicative of the future.

“The minute I saw your faces the next morning, I knew it was a done deal! Sandy is smitten.”

The reality was that this was the first time I had stayed the night with Garrett as a girlfriend and not just a guest. Before we left the next morning, Garrett commented that he was so relieved and happy that ‘things hadn’t changed.’ He later explained that he feared bringing the reality into our relationship as a couple would destroy the magic we had been enjoying from afar.

When I took off for Nebraska in the morning, he knew everything was golden. As Mom later assessed, I was in a state of smittenness. Like our not-so-secret kissing in the kitchen the night prior, he knew everything would be okay today and all the days after—a true beginning after meeting the parents.

A fun fact that not many people know is that my parents were married on Thanksgiving Day, 1964. Although their actual anniversary only occasionally falls on Thanksgiving, that 2009 Thanksgiving at Garrett’s home in Denver was their anniversary day. They celebrated 45 years together as Garrett and I began our first.

So much was unknown to us then. Ajax died just two months later, with Cookie ultimately moving to Omaha for her final years at my home. Our Denver and Omaha homes are under new ownership. Mom and Dad are celebrating their 59th anniversary today at their Arizona home. They no longer take road trips to visit me. Instead, I drive from Durango, Colorado, to visit them.

This year was Garrett and my 14th Thanksgiving together. Although Garrett’s 2009 feast will always be my favorite Thanksgiving meal, I have since taken over the Thanksgiving cooking. We still sit at a small kitchen table and eat off the family china, continuing to enjoy great food and conversation year after year.

My Mom and Dad gave no judgment when I requested a detour to meet my man in Denver. As most people cautiously watched my budding long-distance relationship, my parents never hesitated to give me unwavering support. They gifted Garrett with their assumption of his positive intent. It took little time after this Thanksgiving meal for our relationship to flourish. There was no better way to start our relationship as a couple than celebrating under the example of my parents.