Our Podcast

YOUR REAL, YOUR IDEAL

Co-Hosts: Amy Tokos and Sandy Lane

Two women taking on life’s questions as posed by their listeners. Through their unique journeys in weathering life to date, Amy and Sandy, tackle the probing questions and issues by first recognizing the real in life’s situations to get to the desired ideal. Practical. Honest. Fun. Curious. Helping women create the ideal they want most in our shared journey of life.

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Our video catalog of Season 4 and 5 (or find our channel Your Real, Your Ideal on YouTube)…

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  • Season 5: Episode 29 - Looking Forward
    5/23/24

    Season 5: Episode 29 - Looking Forward

    We are wrapping up season 5 by looking forward before we take our summer break. When we look forward to something, it builds anticipation and gives us hope. At this moment, Sandy and Amy are looking forward to summer and all the things that come along with it. There’s a little planning and a bit of flexibility needed to enjoy the season. Bring it on!

  • Season 5: Episode 28 - Medical Advocacy
    5/16/24

    Season 5: Episode 28 - Medical Advocacy

    We do not have to accept discomfort and lower energy just because we’re aging. Sandy and Amy share their experiences and why it’s important to be your own advocate when it comes to your health.

  • Season 5: Episode 27 - The Adult Gap Year
    5/9/24

    Season 5: Episode 27 - The Adult Gap Year

    The kids are all doing it, how about us? Taking an adult gap year or sabbatical can give you an opportunity to pause and rethink your path forward. It might take a little planning but the consensus is that it is worth it.

  • Season 5: Episode 26 - Microaggressions
    5/2/24

    Season 5: Episode 26 - Microaggressions

    What is a microaggression, you ask? In this episode, we dig into that and share some examples. We hope to raise awareness to help all of us do better. Knowing impact is more important than our intention.

  • Season 5: Episode 25 - Privilege and Privacy
    4/18/24

    Season 5: Episode 25 - Privilege and Privacy

    Is privacy a privilege? Are we entitled to share things about other people? Sandy and Amy discuss privacy, secrets, what drives our need for privacy, and respecting other people's desires to be private or not.

  • Season 5: Episode 24 - Words Matter
    4/4/24

    Season 5: Episode 24 - Words Matter

    Words matter and stir emotion. Sometimes it’s the word, and sometimes it’s the intention. In this episode, we discuss the words that stir our emotions and the times we’ve had to bite our tongue.

  • Season 5: Episode 23: Oscars Recap
    3/21/24

    Season 5: Episode 23: Oscars Recap

    Movies can be an escape from reality, and sometimes they are reality. Sandy and Amy have been watching the Oscar nominees. They’ve been entertained and even had some perspective shifts. It’s a fun conversation, but be warned, there are some spoilers.

  • Season 5: Episode 21 - Energy Vampires
    3/7/24

    Season 5: Episode 21 - Energy Vampires

    Oh yes, you know who and what your energy vampires are. Sandy and Amy share some of the people and things that drain their energy. Plus, the strategies, ranging from candy to conversations, can help.

  • Season 5: Episode 22 - Firsts in Our Fifties
    3/14/24

    Season 5: Episode 22 - Firsts in Our Fifties

    You can try new things at any age. Sandy and Amy explore what they’ve tried since they turned 50 and why they hadn't done it before. The interesting thing is that their lists are completely different.

  • Season 5: Episode 20 - Food Insecurity
    2/29/24

    Season 5: Episode 20 - Food Insecurity

    We have Kristi Reimers as a guest for this episode. She shares her insights and knowledge about food insecurity, which is more recently known as nutrition insecurity. The gap between food and access can be big for some people. The good news is that there are some things we can do to help.

  • Season 5: Episode 19 - Mid-Life Celebration
    2/22/24

    Season 5: Episode 19 - Mid-Life Celebration

    If you’ve hit midlife, does it feel like a crisis or are you able to celebrate this phase of life? Sandy and Amy discuss what we can be celebrating as we age.

    “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”

    David Bowie

  • Season 5: Episode 18 - Solomon's Paradox
    2/15/24

    Season 5: Episode 18 - Solomon's Paradox

    Are you good at giving advice? Do you also take your own advice? Many of us can give, but sometimes we don’t apply it to ourselves - that is Solomon’s Paradox. Sandy and Amy talk about giving advice, our advice experiences, and when we don’t take our own advice.

  • Season 5: Episode 16 - Work-Life Imbalance
    2/8/24

    Season 5: Episode 16 - Work-Life Imbalance

    “Work-life balance” is more about the action of balancing and having good boundaries. In this episode, Sandy and Amy share their times of struggle with balance and how they made it through.

  • Season 5: Episode 16 - Things That Keep Us Up at Night
    2/1/24

    Season 5: Episode 16 - Things That Keep Us Up at Night

    We all want a good night’s sleep, but sometimes there are things…you know, all the things (projects, problems, etc.) that keep us awake. Sandy and Amy share the literal and the philosophical things that keep them awake.

  • Season 5: Episode 15 - What are You Afraid of?
    1/25/24

    Season 5: Episode 15 - What are You Afraid of?

    We all have the things that scare us. Fear is one of the things that limits women in their professional and personal pursuits. Is fear holding you back? Sandy and Amy discuss common fears, when they affect them, and how they overcome or avoid the discomfort.

    #podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #fear #powerofvalue

  • Season 5: Episode 14 - Perspective Shift
    1/18/24

    Season 5: Episode 14 - Perspective Shift

    We are kicking off the new year with new views and new perspectives. Sandy and Amy share how a perspective shift can make doing big things a little easier. Not sweating the small stuff and not creating drama is key for us.

  • Season 5: Episode 13 - Humble: To Be or Not to Be
    12/21/23

    Season 5: Episode 13 - Humble: To Be or Not to Be

    We often hear that we need to be humble. Sandy and Amy talk through the pros and cons of humility plus the perceptions of people who are humble versus arrogant. There is definitely an art to being humble.

  • Season 5: Episode 12 - Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
    12/14/23

    Season 5: Episode 12 - Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

    In this episode, we have another guest, Bev Young, from HCA Healthcare. She is sharing all about DEI in healthcare and the efforts to make it more accessible. It’s interesting and inspiring. When you listen, you will hear Bev’s passion, which we love! Enjoy the podcast.

  • Season 5: Episode 11 - Aging Gracefully
    12/7/23

    Season 5: Episode 11 - Aging Gracefully

    How do you feel about aging? Sandy and Amy discuss how the definition of aging gracefully has changed as we have aged. We are measuring it differently than we did 20 years ago. We also share some strategies that will make aging easier. Added bonus: In the conversation, we find out how Sandy got banned from TikTok. It’s a good story.

  • Season 5: Episode 10- A Traditional Life
    11/30/23

    Season 5: Episode 10- A Traditional Life

    Tis the season for family traditions. You know, the ones we love and the those that feel like a burden. In this episode, Sandy and Amy share some of their family traditions, how they evolved, and which ones stuck and which ones did not. It’s a perfect conversation for the season.

  • Season 5: Episode 9 - AI & Cybersecurity: Safety First
    11/23/23

    Season 5: Episode 9 - AI & Cybersecurity: Safety First

    AI is here. There are some good ways to use it, and our guest, Heather Noggle, shares some cautions. She also gives us great advice on cybersecurity and how to protect ourselves, including #1 multi-factor authentication, which helps us find a balance between fear and vigilance when it comes to cybersecurity.

  • Season 5: Episode 8 - Out of the Barbie Box
    11/16/23

    Season 5: Episode 8 - Out of the Barbie Box

    What just happened? Sometimes, that is how we feel when we see someone stepping out of the box and being their authentic and real selves. In this episode, we are celebrating that courageous authenticity that can challenge our beliefs and who we think we are. It can feel good and also a bit uncomfortable.

  • Season 5: Episode 7 - Unbanned Books
    11/9/23

    Season 5: Episode 7 - Unbanned Books

    We’re talking about books, both banned and unbanned. Sandy and Amy are big readers, sharing their latest reading, discussing a podcast on books, and the banned book lists. Join our conversation!

  • Season 5: Episode 6 - What Would You do with a Million Dollars?
    11/2/23

    Season 5: Episode 6 - What Would You do with a Million Dollars?

    If we had a million dollars and didn’t need to save it - what would you spend it on? We asked this question to our listeners. We learned the answer many times reflects our values. It’s an interesting thing to ponder.

  • Season 5: Episode 5 - Armchair Quarterback
    10/26/23

    Season 5: Episode 5 - Armchair Quarterback

    Sometimes, our confidence on a topic is greater than our competence. Sandy and Amy share when we’ve been armchair quarterbacks in this episode. This conversation takes us down the road of a growth mindset and the “Think Again” book by Adam Grant. The more we know, the more we realize how much we don’t know.

  • Season 5: Episode 4 - Choosing Change
    10/19/23

    Season 5: Episode 4 - Choosing Change

    When we put ourselves out there to do something new or different, it can be scary. In this episode, Sandy and Amy talk about change, the benefits of change, and how we’ve embraced it…or not.

  • Season 5: Episode 3 - Are You the Same Person You Used to Be?
    10/12/23

    Season 5: Episode 3 - Are You the Same Person You Used to Be?

    We can all agree that people evolve and change. Yet, we also recognize that people are very much the same as they have always been. In this episode, Sandy and Amy discuss how we change, how we might want to change, and what will really never change.

  • Season 5: Episode 2 - Playing With AI
    10/5/23

    Season 5: Episode 2 - Playing With AI

    AI is here, and this week we share how we’ve been playing with it. What we’re seeing, what we’re hearing, possible opportunities, plus some cautions. It’s interesting and will be a game-changer. How do you plan to harness the power of AI?

  • Season 5: Episode 1 - We're Back!
    9/28/23

    Season 5: Episode 1 - We're Back!

    We’re back! In this episode, we’re doing our catch-up from the summer and kicking off season 5. Sandy and Amy both spent time with important people this summer while they did some stuff and learned some stuff.

  • Season 4: Episode 33 - Transitioning to Summer
    5/25/23

    Season 4: Episode 33 - Transitioning to Summer

    Sandy and Amy are signing off for the summer. In this episode, they discuss the things that are just different for summer and how we all have to adjust. Summer goes fast and with intentionality, we can make the most of it.

  • Season 4: Episode 32 - Will They Remember Your Name?
    5/18/23

    Season 4: Episode 32 - Will They Remember Your Name?

    People remember the value you bring when you are your authentic self. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy dig into values and how incorporating them into your day can help bring happiness.

  • Season 4: Episode 31 - What's the Process
    5/11/23

    Season 4: Episode 31 - What's the Process

    Inspiration helps us move forward to a better place or mindset. But moving forward typically requires taking the first step and then the second. It needs a process. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share inspirations and how they discovered the need for the process.

  • Season 4: Episode 30 - Multi-Tasking Makes You Stupid
    5/4/23

    Season 4: Episode 30 - Multi-Tasking Makes You Stupid

    In this episode Sandy and Amy discuss multitasking, why it’s impossible, and some of the other things that distract us. Amy also shares a quick test you can do to see if you’re an efficient multi-tasker.

  • Season 4: Episode 29 - Means Girls
    4/27/23

    Season 4: Episode 29 - Means Girls

    What most people refer to as "mean girl behavior" is really relational aggression. Sandy and Amy discuss this type of bullying, recognize that it’s not just the girls, and share strategies to protect themselves.

  • Season 4: Episode 28 - Playing Defense
    4/20/23

    Season 4: Episode 28 - Playing Defense

    When should we play defense? Is it ever necessary? We all have moments when we react defensively. Sandy and Amy share some situations that triggered them and brainstorm better responses. Always keeping it real.

  • Season 4: Episode 27 - Oh, the People We Meet
    4/13/23

    Season 4: Episode 27 - Oh, the People We Meet

    Meeting new people can be fun. Sometimes we make a good connection. Sometimes we think maybe not and then there are the times we get ghosted. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share their networking stories, some good and some not-so-good.

  • Season 4: Episode 26 - Can You Teach Confidence?
    4/6/23

    Season 4: Episode 26 - Can You Teach Confidence?

    Can someone teach you confidence? If we are lifting each other up and empowering others, are we teaching them to be confident? Sandy and Amy discuss just that this week. We start with one thought…you’ll have to listen in to see where we end up.

  • Season 4: Episode 25 - People Who Make Us Uncomfortable
    3/30/23

    Season 4: Episode 25 - People Who Make Us Uncomfortable

    When you look around, are most of the people around you like you? There are many benefits to surrounding ourselves with people who have different faiths, different pronouns, different ethnicity…diversity. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy discuss times when we’ve felt uncomfortable with diversity in our own surroundings. We share how we handle it and how we learn.

  • Season 4: Episode 24 - Great Expectations
    3/23/23

    Season 4: Episode 24 - Great Expectations

    Too often we live in a tight box of expectations that we have created and rarely does life give you that exact path. The things that exceed our expectations are the things that make our highlight reel. Knowing that expectations are unavoidable, in this episode Sandy and Amy discuss how we keep our expectations, good and bad, in check. A few hints…adaptability and flexibility are key.

  • Season 4: Episode 23 - Where Have You Been Traveling?
    3/16/23

    Season 4: Episode 23 - Where Have You Been Traveling?

    Sandy and Amy have been doing some traveling. In this episode, we share why we like to travel, how keeping it simple gives us the same joy as elaborate vacations plus some favorites. Many times, we realized, it’s the people we’re with not the location that makes the magic.

  • Season 4: Episode 23 - Where Have You Been Traveling?
    3/16/23

    Season 4: Episode 23 - Where Have You Been Traveling?

    Sandy and Amy have been doing some traveling. n this episode, we share why we like to travel, how keeping it simple gives us the same joy as elaborate vacations plus some favorites. Many times, we realized, it’s the people we’re with not the location that makes the magic.

  • Season 4: Episode 22 - Gossip Girls
    3/9/23

    Season 4: Episode 22 - Gossip Girls

    Do you want to hear a juicy story? If you said yes, you might want to listen to this podcast. If you said no, you might also want to listen. Sandy and Amy are talking about gossip. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

  • Season 4: Episode 21 - A Drama-Free Life: Myth or Reality?
    3/2/23

    Season 4: Episode 21 - A Drama-Free Life: Myth or Reality?

    Is drama in your life because of your circumstances or because of your choices? Sandy and Amy dig into this topic in this episode. What we determine is that drama gets a bad rap. Sometimes it’s bad, but there can also be a good side to it.

  • Season 4: Episode 20 - It's Easy to Say I'm Sorry
    2/23/23

    Season 4: Episode 20 - It's Easy to Say I'm Sorry

    When we know we’ve messed up our knee-jerk reaction is to apologize with hopes of forgiveness. That’s the easy way out. Sandy and Amy discuss the steps that need to happen before the apology and understand that forgiveness may never happen and that’s ok.

  • Season 4: Episode 19 - The Messy Middle
    2/16/23

    Season 4: Episode 19 - The Messy Middle

    We all see the before and after. What is in the middle is usually pretty messy. Sandy and Amy share a few stories about overcoming adversity, perseverance, and how to get through that messy middle.

  • Season 4: Episode 18 - What's Your Plan B?
    2/9/23

    Season 4: Episode 18 - What's Your Plan B?

    Do you have a plan B? Some of us always have a backup plan which can be good. There is a flip side where a Plan B can sabotage your Plan A. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share stories about when Plan B’s were good and when they held us back.

  • Season 4: Episode 17 - The Measure of Life
    2/2/23

    Season 4: Episode 17 - The Measure of Life

    In the book “The Measure”, one morning everyone over the age of 22 receives a box with a string that tells you the length of their life. Sandy and Amy discuss this idea. Would you open the box? If you did, what would you do with the information?

  • Season 4: Episode 16 - I Wish You Enough
    1/26/23

    Season 4: Episode 16 - I Wish You Enough

    All we need for true happiness is enough. Enough sun to keep your attitude bright, enough rain to appreciate the sun more, and so on as the poem goes. Sandy and Amy explore this concept of enough and what makes us feel like we need more.

  • Season 4: Episode 15 - What We Take for Granted
    1/19/23

    Season 4: Episode 15 - What We Take for Granted

    We all take things for granted. Sandy and Amy share how they’ve taken things for granted in the past. They also discuss how to find the balance between optimism that all will be good and the reality that things might go away and be missed. You won’t know everything you’ve got til it’s gone.

  • Season 4: Episode 14 - You Can't Do That! Career Changes into Your 50s
    12/15/22

    Season 4: Episode 14 - You Can't Do That! Career Changes into Your 50s

    At any age, we have choices. Sometimes when we hit a certain age, we feel it’s easier to settle in and ride it out. In this episode, Sandy and Amy share their career changes, some of the feedback, and some of the support they got plus some insights on making a change.

  • I so enjoy your podcast. The authenticity in the conversations is refreshing.

    A listener from Florida

  • Grateful for your podcast!

    Ellen Delap